Pathos

[WARNING!] - The author was in an emo mood at the time of writing, young children and pregnant women should press Alt+F4 immediately.

I’ve just realized something about myself… For the past 2 weeks or so I’ve been wallowing in the darkness of self-despair, only that I’ve never realized that I was in that state… I see that I have been shallow, superficial and petty pretty much all my life.

I’m not emo, I just feel like being one right now… I’m absolutely frustrated at the lack at which I can express myself, the lack of motivation, the lack of satisfaction, the general lack of happiness in my current stance.

My subject combo, my teachers, my puny social circle (in comparison with others - bloody Michael knows like 50% of the school population), my bloody nubness at almost every bloody thing possible…

I wanna go back in time, I wanna do things that I’ve spurned, I wanna embrace things that I’ve always despised… I wanna study for O level prelims, I wanna study for Os, I wanna go for PAE… I wanna reset my whole life…

I have always wanted great things thrust upon me but now I realize that I would have to reach for them myself.

Perhaps this is me starting to become more aware of the world from a new perspective, a dawn of a new horizon upon which I would stand taller than ever before…

Time shall tell

PS. Pardon the lame gayness in this speech, I’m kinda like this when I’m feeling down.